One Last Time, Love

Call out to me
One last time, love
As I stand on the rail of this bridge,
Looking down into the churning waves below
A storm is brewing, dear
Both above in the sky
And in my mind.

Try to pull me back
One last time, love
Before I step off of this metal rail
And fall to my watery grave
Those waves will consume me, dear
They will fill my lungs,
Stop my heart
Calm my mind.

Cry not for me
For I am free, love
As my body sinks down
Into the oblivion of the murky depths
My soul is gone, dear
Gone to a far better place
Where I will watch you
And love you- always.

What Is Meant and What Is Interpreted

What I mean
And what is interpreted
Are so often
Vastly different.
Meaningless-
Or seemingly so-
Words
Can become my jail cell-
Can condemn me
To worse fates
Than misunderstanding.
My thoughts-
I feel-
Are not so complex
As not to be understood.
But, yet,
What I mean
And what is interpreted
Are so often
Confused.
The scrawling of my pen on paper
Sets the steady cadence of my life.
Always writing-
For my spoken words are more unclear
Than those marked in ink.
And yet,
Those ink-stained pages
Are more deadly to me
Than a million memories
Of spoken words.
The penned words are permanent.
They stay with me
Always singing out my thoughts
To those who should, perhaps,
Not hear…
The voices echoed by the pen-
Trapped between lined pages…
So forever,
What I mean,
And what is interpreted
Will never be the same…

I Knew I Shouldn’t Have Gotten So Excited

So, I posted yesterday about the dog I was supposed to be getting… Unfortunately, the animal shelter wouldn’t hold him for us until Monday, and he was adopted a couple of hours after I posted that by someone else. I don’t really understand why they wouldn’t hold him for a few days- my mom even offered to send them a check for the adoption fee. However, I’m sure he went to a good home.

So, I’m not getting that dog. Somehow, I knew that if I told everyone about it, something would go wrong. My life just seems to go that way. Maybe it’s like working magick or making wishes. If you talk about it, it might not work or come true. Lesson learned.

Everything else is going pretty well. We’re still going to be getting A dog, we just haven’t found the right one yet.

My Where Has the Year Gone?

I feel like I’ve been posting a lot this week, but so much has been happening I have tons to write about. There are about two days left of my senior year of high school. This school year flew by, but I’m actually really glad that it’s so close to being over. I’m not trying to bash the school district or anything, but I’m definitely sick of this place. (Funny how I’m writing this in the school library) Tonight’s our Baccalaureate ceremony, and I’ll graduate on June 8th. But, I’m exempt from my exams, so I’ll have all next week to finish up preparations for Midsummer- the food planning, and supply purchasing and all that happy crap- and relax and do some spiritual work.

AND… Adopt my new dog! We’ll be getting him on Monday. He is a bluetick coonhound named Jake. He’s the cutest dog ever, and I’ll be able to spend time with him all week- and all summer.  Here’s a picture of him!

Mask Making

I thought I’d do a little post on how I made the mask that I posted a picture of. These pictures are of me applying the plaster base of the mask to my friend, Morgan. The plastic wrap ensures that the plaster won’t stick to her face. Basically, you wet the plaster strips, squeeze the excess water off of them, apply them to the face and smooth them out. You’ll want two layers of plaster to ensure that it holds up. I also recommend leaving the eye holes open if you intend to wear the mask.

After the mask is hardened, you’ll add on any antlers, horns, ears, etc. with plaster at that point. It is sanded smooth, painted with a base coat of paint, and decorated. Mine was covered in a suede material and painted before being decorated. Use whatever you like! Feathers, leaves, ribbons, etc. Feel free to be creative while creating your mask.

The end result was the cool piece of artwork. Unfortunately, it can’t be worn, but I DO intend to hang it above my altar.

This is my class and all of our masks! It was really cool to see what people did. Morgan, the girl I was applying the plaster too, is the orange mask with flowers to the left of me (the deer mask, obviously).

Some New Artwork

Yes, I finally got pictures of some of the projects I’ve been working on! Above, I have a personal power mandala, done with colored pencil on black construction paper. The mask is a plaster casting of my face, covered in a suede-like fabric, painted with acrylic paint and then decorated with fake leaves and ribbons. Both were supposed to be deeply personal projects, and it was nice to be able to involve my spirituality in a school art project. The mandala was supposed to simply represent me. Hence, the peaceful and artistic outer rings that fade to red at the arrow points, representing the barrier I put between myself and those I don’t know personally. The inner-most rings represent a deep connection with my faith and the spirit guides that make themselves known to me.

The mask was supposed to represent a transformation. With school keeping me preoccupied from personal work, I wanted to transform into someone much more in-tune with the divine forces and the spirits of the land. The deer (A white tailed deer, NOT a reindeer! The kids at my school are so stupid sometimes.) is of course a major symbol for the horned god, and the leaves evoke the spirit of the Green Man. The ribbons and red jewel are representative of the sun, and the magick of the faeries I’ve been working with since last Autumn.

I had a lot of fun making both of them. There will definitely be more to come. Midsummer is going to be an extremely crafty sabbat for the Circle of Towering Trees. Hopefully, I’ll get pictures and/or videos up soon!

Blessings,

Rachel (Brenna Adaira)

Oh What A Week- Or Two

It’s been two weeks- well, more than that- since I’ve written anything about what’s going on with me. Let’s just say, there’s good reason for that.

When I last posted, things were going really well. I had just gone to prom with the guy that I’ve liked for years. I was accepted into the art program at the college I’m attending. I had just written a bad-ass poem and blown my English class away with it.

Then, on Wednesday, May 9th, I lost my dog, Sabrina, to cancer. She was probably one of the best friends I had. She didn’t judge me, or say awful things to me. Just sat there and listened, wagging her tail and bearing the goofy grin she always wore.  I was total wreck for the rest of the week. I couldn’t walk through my house without looking for her- I actually ended up spending the first night at my friend, Morgan’s.

Some of my very close friends were also really sick and in and out of the hospital in the earlier part of the month. That was really stressful. I’m happy to report that they’re feeling much better now, though.

Since then, things have started to get back into some semblance of normalcy. School is still as easy as it ever was, and the Circle of Towering Trees is preparing for our Midsummer celebration in a month. I’ll graduate in three weeks, and then the summer will be a busy one full of celebration, and, hopefully, lots of spiritual work as well. It’s crazy how fast this year flew by.

Blessings,

Rachel (Brenna Adaira)

An Ode to Mixed-Feelings

Indecisive Lord you are

Forever a mystery to me.

Love or indifference, I cannot tell

Which thoughts do occupy thee.

Through laughter and time spent,

I’ve come to hold you dear.

But slowly, I’m realizing

What you say isn’t always what I hear.

How I wish that I could know you

On a level deeper than interests shared.

My heart has once been poured forth for you

But I know not whether you scoffed or cared.

A laugh, a smile,

A wink from across the room

Bound to make my heart flutter-

Bound to be my eternal doom.

Indecisive Lord you are

“Not ready,” you say,

And feign a cold heart

In order to push me away.

Let it be, then, that I am Ophelia

Driven mad by you, my Hamlet,

And your love- not-love

A cycle sure as the sun rise and set.

Despite it all- the emotional torment-

I cannot bring myself to leave.

I cannot hate thee, dear sir,

And forget thee? I cannot conceive…

For as soon as anger, a hint of hate,

Taints but a single thought,

I remember your smile, you make me laugh.

By your charm, I’m once again caught.

Whether love or acceptance

Be your will, I beseech thee, remain my friend-

And accept you this ode of mixed-feelings

That has happ’ly met its end.

Update: 5/02/2012

Well, the good news is that the open circle on Beltaine: http://brennaxadaira.wordpress.com/2012/04/26/circle-of-towering-trees-beltaine-rite-2012/ , went splendidly! It was silly, but loads of fun.

I also had a bunch of fun at prom. I had, if I do say so myself, the most bad-ass outfit of them all (there’s a picture of my date and me below). Forrest, bless his heart, was late picking me up, and for whatever reason, the DJ thought slow songs MUST be country songs (which we both hate), but over all, it was a lot of fun. Had even more fun “gambling” at post-prom. I even won a GVSU sweatshirt, how awesome is that?

 My personal Beltaine rite was really awesome as well. I performed that on the 1st, and though I will not be discussing and/or posting my personal rite on my blog, it was an incredibly magickal experience.

Hope everyone enjoyed the sabbat!

Blessings,

Rachel (Brenna Adaira)

Circle Of Towering Trees Beltaine Rite 2012

1)       Ground and center

2)      Circle Casting: “Hear my voice, a sacred sound, as I speak of magick lost and found! Round and round the sacred ground, as I walk, the circle’s bound!”

3)      Quarter Calls: “May there be peace in the North! May there be peace in the East! May there be peace in the South! May there be peace in the West! May there be peace throughout the whole world!”

4)     The Horned God: “Horned one of the wilderness, Winged one of the Shining Skies, Rayed one of the Splend’rous Sun, Fallen one of Samhain cries! I call amidst the Tow’ring Trees, praying that you, O ancient one, will deign to bless our mystic rite- O fiery Lord of the blazing Sun!”

5)      The Triple Goddess: “Crescent one of the starry skies, flowered one of the fertile plain, flowing one of the ocean’s sighs, blessed one of the falling rain! I call amidst the Tow’ring Trees, open us to your mystic light! Waken us to your silver tones! Be with us in this sacred rite!”

6)     Call to the Faeries: “Kindly spirits of the land / Join us now, come hand-in-hand! / Fae of the Wylde Hunt and dragons great / Join us now, don’t hesitate! / Gnomes and pixies, the elves so fair / Hear our call rise on the air! / Dwarves below us, sylphs above / Come celebrate with us in love! / But leave behind the folk malign / Who’d seek to end our joyous time! / Nature spirits don’t be late! / Come and help us celebrate!”

7)      Beltaine Invocation:  “Maypole rises to the heavens / Lengths of colored ribbon / Flutter in the setting light / Tokens kept and given. / Costumed Lords and Ladies / Step quick in deosil around / Weaving love and harmony / As the Sun goes down! / Circle in to touch the sky / And out to manifest! / Spiral dance around the ring / Grant us our request!”

8)     Statement of Purpose: “We’ve gathered here today to celebrate the festival of Beltaine, a holiday that dates back to the ancient Celts. This day marked the beginning of Summer and the season of coming-of-age ceremonies and marriages. In legend, this was the time of year when the Maiden Goddess of the Earth and Moon was wed to the Horned God of the Sky and Sun. Their union was a joyous one, ensuring the rebirth of the God and an abundant harvest. Happy Beltaine!”

9)      Choosing the May Queen: (The flower pendants are passed out to the girls, the recipient of the blue flower is crowned Queen) “Hail the Maiden Queen so fair! Flow’rs and ribbons in her hair!”

10)   Choosing the May King: (The May Queen chooses her consort) “Hail the Mighty King of May! Come to claim his bride the day!”

11)    The Great Rite: (The King and Queen are danced around the circle, ending in the center by end of poem) “The land is green, the soil fertile, warmed by the bright Sun / Dance around the Maypole, children, Summer has begun! / Goddess green, the land and fields meet the spark of life. / Flow’rs and ribbons celebrate the end of Winter’s strife! / As days grow warm and ever longer / The Sun’s great power is burning stronger! / Maiden Goddess and Hunter Prince dance the circle ‘round, / And disappear amongst the trees for true love has been found! / In an ancient grove, they meet this night, / To join together in the Great Rite! / God and Goddess joined in passion, / Their union this day is made. / In the grove, warm and green, / The Chalice joins with blade!”

  1. (The King and Queen’s hands are bound with a red ribbon. The Queen is given the chalice, and the King holds the athame) “Hand to hand, King and Queen are bound / Within the sacred circle round. / As the chalice meets with blade (King lowers athame into chalice) / May blessings of the Earth be made! / Bless the farms, gardens large and small! / Bless our people, one and all!” (All drink from the chalice)

12)   Maypole Dance

13)    Prayer Ribbons

14)   Cakes: “From the Sun to the land, from the land to the stalk, from the stalk to the grain, from the grain to this cake. I bless and consecrate these cakes in the name of the God! May his blessings shower upon us throughout eternity! So Mote it Be!” (Everyone gets a cupcake)

15)    Ale: “From the Moon to the land, from the land to the vine, from the vine to the berry, from the berry to this juice. I bless and consecrate this drink in the name of the Goddess! May her blessings shower upon us throughout eternity! So Mote it Be!” (Everyone gets a drink)

16)   Send Healing Energies

17)   Farewell to the Fae: “Blessed spirits of the land / We give thanks for lending a helping hand! / Stay if you like, but leave if you must / In perfect love and perfect trust / Until next time, our magickal friends, / Merry Meet, Merry Part, Merry Meet Again!”

18)   Goddess: “Blessed be, my Goddess. The ritual is done, but magick is everywhere. With great love in my heart, you remain, abundant of energies you sustain. Thank you, Glowing Goddess of the Earth and Moon. I bid thee farewell. Merry Meet, Merry Part, Merry Meet Again.”

19)   God: “Blessed be, my Lord. The rite is done; our celebration had reached its end. With great love in my heart, you remain, abundant of energy you sustain. Thank you, loving God of the Sky and Sun. I bid thee farewell. Merry Meet, Merry Part, Merry Meet Again.”

20)  Release Quarters: “I thank you, Spirits of the Center! I thank you, Spirits of the West! I thank you, Spirits of the South! I thank you, Spirits of the East! I thank you, Spirits of the North!”

21)   Open Circle: “Magick cast and blessings sent, the magick rite has reached its end. Circle open, Circle fade. I open thee with silver blade!”

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